DEATH MOUNTAIN

I figure that, without context, this works as some kind of William S. Burroughs thing.

Me:
Yo, you gotta crush a lot of content if you wanna be cool like Bowser!

Katt:
Don’t they mean Middlebury?

Me:
He crushed it up into a berry!

Katt:
Also, I guess if your name is Gomer, you feel pressure to be even more cool.
Dragonair ate his Middleberry! His Critical Thinking skill goes way up!

Me:
Oh, man, we gotta play that!
Well, once we get a TV.

Katt:
Pokemon Education Revolution!

Me:
Also, a pro-Bowser blog written by the candy stand guy would be good.

Katt:
Oh yeah. I wonder if Bowser ever visits his stand.

Me:
What? Squirtle is getting a master’s degree?
Probably just to pick up from the vault.

Katt:
What? Ivysaur is evolving!

Me:
He’s, like, yeah, yeah, crunch some candy. Let me see the receipts.

Katt:
Congratulations! Your Ivysaur evolved into UNEMPLOYED MFA!

Me:
deer yahoo answers how come my iveysor power went down

Katt:
u sent him to art scool dumass he needs to be a laywer

Me:
loyer stone is xpencive tho

Apparently, a famous hockey man named “Brent Sopel” is bringing the prized Stanley Cup to his local Gay Pride Parade. Judging by the reaction in the comments on that article, many hockey (and “hocky”) fans are upset by this.

Why? Well for one, the Cup’s presence at the parade may inspire gays to overrun and dominate the sport of hockey, the way they took over the sport of figure skating, back in 1971. The prized Borman Chalice, then the highest honor in figure skating, appeared at a Pride parade in San Francisco, and it was all downhill from there. Prior to that, figure skating had been the straight white male’s haven from turbulent (and tiresome) social change. A man could go down to the rink, enjoy a brew, and watch some men triple axle it up, secure in the faith that he was gazing at twirling buttocks which were completely impenetrable, like two iron bowling balls fused together in the manliest blacksmith fires of Germany.

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Recently, Arizona governor Jan Brewer signed SB-1070 into law. It requires “law enforcement officers to demand immigration papers from anyone they have a ‘reasonable suspicion’ may be in the country illegally.” Basically, it’s a “if you don’t look white, we can knock you down a few pegs” law.
 

In response, Robert Rodriguez has made the trailer for his Mexsploitation film Machete into a very special message for Arizona.

(Make sure you watch that trailer. It is FREAKIN’ AWESOME.)

 
 
 
Rodriguez is blatantly (and excellently) provoking the racists that support SB-1070. However, this isn’t the first time this has been done.

A decade and half earlier, the Satanic, human-sacrificing, border crossing, drug dealing, headbangers Brujerìa responded to California governor Pete Wilson’s passage of Proposition 187 with a song titled Raza Odiada. En Español, of course!

Back then, I was looking for the heaviest music possible. With that territory comes a lot of lyrics that really try to make you say “holy shit.” Very little of it did.

Death metal bands espousing the downfall of Christianity was like ranch dressing at a buffet. I tuned it out and listened to just the music. (Which was not necessarily a bad thing.) Black metal bands’ flirtation with Nazism from the safety of their moms’ basements in Norway was just pathetic.

Brujerìa cut through all of that and made me go “Whoa!” (Like a machete!) Fake or not, Satanic Mexican drug dealers were a scary idea to which people weren’t yet numb. It got my attention.

They were novel and impressively crazy which could have been enough, but I liked that they stopped for a bit with Raza Odiada to make a good point in addition to their usual terrorizing. “Quien te va chingar mas no es Satanas,” de hecho.