Tag Archives: lovecraft

The greatest Lovecraft tale that never was

Katt: I have never read any Lovecraft.

Me: He’s a pretty bad writer, but some of his stories are great.

Katt: I get the impression they’re all like “Dear readers, I was in Providence for fishing and science, and I learned of the unspeakable horror of the beast known as Harnlthyanahggh.

Katt: He is a blind dead lizard man with tentacles who lives under the sea and makes ominous BLORP noises. One day, when his eternal Game Boy finally runs out of battery power, he will eat the coastline.

Katt: In the deepest reaches of space, there is a hole that leads back to a drainpipe in Queens. Here is where all the antimatter lives, and the Marlaghthtrangh lies eating popsicles.